Moments in My Life

Finally we finished cleaning up all the trash we had in the old house.  The inside of the house is ‘quite’ empty now.  We only have some stuff in the garage for donation.  This morning, I upload the MLS and our home in Gardena is in the market for for sale as of today.  I haven’t received any call yet.  It might be a slower market than a few months ago. 

Before the summer arrived, there was first time home buyer’s credit of up to $8500 for new homeowner.  The program has came to an end right before the summer started.  And I read that the real estate market is slower now than before.  Hubby is planning to have the home in the market for 3 months and if we don’t get ‘the’ offer, we might just put the house out as a rental.  But hopefully we will be able to sell it. 

Let me share what I picked up from the class today.

Special time with your child
One of our homework from last week was to spend approximately 10-20 minutes a day with our child/ren doing what they love to do. To do this, we have to use the ‘Think, Plan and Do’ approach. We set a side a time of the day to spend with him/her. Then we ask the child what they want to do. Sometimes a child may not have a set thing that he/she likes that moment, so we can help to give them a choice. We have to ask them questions, and let them make the decision and the rules.

Example:
Adult: “Hey, Amy, do you want to do something together?”
Child: “Ya.”
Adult: “What do you want the both of us to do during this time?”
Child: “I don’t know.”
Adult: “Well, do you want to play the dolls or bake cookies?”
Child: “Play dolls.”
Adult: “OK, what do we need?”
Child: “Teddy bear, Barbie, Ken, Mrs. duck …”
Adult: “Now, we have to set some rules when we are playing with dolls right?”
Child: “Ya.”
Adult: “What rules do you think we should adopt while playing?”
Child: “Taking turns?”
Adult: “Good idea! We can take turns with the doll house.”

The important part of this exercise is to pay attention to your child, building trust and intimacy. When we talk or having conversation with them, we also have to be descriptive about things we want them to do.

Paying attention on good behaviors
Kids love attention. According to the psychologist, kids will do anything to get your attention - throwing tanturm, behaving badly, and such. So main idea for this exercise is to promote how to get attention in socially appropriate ways.

First, pay attention how you and your spouse interact. Kids model the parents. So, if you want them to say please and thank you, practising those with your spouse will be a good start. Next thing is to pay attention to their good behaviors and praise and reward them. Again, be descriptive. Also watch your tone and be enthusiastic on it.

Adult: “Kelly, you are such a good girl to be sharing your blue train with Ethan.”

Adult: “Boy, you went to the bathroom yourself? Way to go buddy!”

Parents’ Meeting
Spend a few minutes each week to discuss with your spouse or the other caretakers of your child/ren on what you hope to achieve in the next week. Take it slowly. Things don’t happen overnight. You can talk about the values that you would like your child to have or the rewards to give. Give each other a pat on their back to tell them they are doing a good job. It helps.

Surprise, surprise.  I couldn’t believe that we watched two movies in one day.  First, we went for the free movie screening in the morning at Edwards theater in Irvine Spectrum.  Our intention was to watch Aliens in the Attic but then they were showing Space Chimps instead.  It was not bad so we stayed and watched.  Joann and Ethan only saw part of it and they went outside to wait for us.  Ethan wasn’t really into it.

Later in the evening, after our dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant outside, we went to Starplex in Woodbridge for their ‘All Day Tuesday for $1′.  This theater shows the not so new movies.  But for any movies which I haven’t seen, it is new to me.  And the newest release at this theater is the Iron Man 2.  So three of us watched Iron Man 2 while Joann and Ethan went for ‘How to train Your Dragons’.  Total ticket = $5 only.  :)  Good deal!

Edwards Theater in Irvine Spectrum has been offering summer movie for free since end of June.  These are older movies.  Some of these movies including Madagascar 1 and 2, Hotels for Dogs, Monsters vs. Aliens, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and more.  We will attempt to catch Aliens in the Attic tomorrow at 10am.  The free movies are offering every Tuesday and Wednesday now to August, at 10am.  What can be better than free air-conditioning and free movie in the hot summer day.  Just need to pay for pop corns if you want to get one for your movie. 

I am unhappy when people break my things.  Why can’t they take care of things that belong to others in a well manner?  That’s why I seldom and afraid to lend my things to anyone.  Not just friends, even with the family I am afraid that they will break my things.  Sometimes is not the value of the item but the memory that it has with it. 

Hubby was the one who noticed the scratch on my car’s back bumper.  Good thing was that it was a scratch, a bad scratch and not a dent.  I only parked at two places today and suspect the accident might have happened when I was at my dentist next to Torrance Memorial.  When I came out after my appointment, I did see something on the bumper but I thought it was from a previous incident.  I didn’t really pay attention to it as I had too much in my mind to do today.  I also vividly remember the car parked next to mine was gone when I returned to the parking lot.  My car not a new car, it is 6-7 years old, thus I am not that upset about it.  That person could have wrote an apology note and place it on my windscreen. 

Brandon will be attending speech therapy. It will be mainly for his articulation and how he pronouces certain letters. 

His English is not perfect. I do understand him but not strangers whom had just met him. First of all, it is my fault.  I speak OK English and OK Cantonese.  I wasn’t fluent fluent in either.  In English, a lot of times, I speak incorrectly to him and that’s why he pick up the way he speak now. 

For example –>

Mom: Brandon, this is a shovel. Do you know a shovel is for what?
Now whenever he is trying to find out about something, he will say it this way, “This toy is for what?”, instead of the correct way, “What is this toy for?”

This is an obvious mistake on my side. There may be more which I don’t take notice. Sometimes I will get mix up with the present, past and future tenses. Singular and plural are not always correct either. I felt that my mind is not working as smoothly as before. My mind thinks one thing and my mouth says another.

Anyway … back to my topic. We have a recommendation from our previous school district for him to attend speech therapy which now I had submitted our application to the new school district we have just moved to. Currently they are on summer break. The school will begin on July 29th. I hope he will speak clearly and correctly once he started speech therapy classes.

I dislike screaming and smacking my child.  Honestly, who does??  I want a happy child and always listen, follow rules, taking turns, being nice to others, etc. etc. etc.  You know what I mean. 

My style of parenting properly mirroring how I was brought up.  But I want to change that.  I don’t want to hear me shouting with a screaming child in the house.  So what did I do?  I signed up with CUIDAR.  The program is also refered to as COPE Intervention.  And guess what?  This 10 weeks program is FREE! 

The The COPE Parent Education Program
This free 10-week course, called Community Parent Education (COPE), was designed to teach valuable parenting skills. Research has shown that not only do parents enjoy participating in the classes we offer, but the COPE curriculum is also extremely effective.The COPE approach to teaching parenting skills uses active, small-group discussions among parents to help them identify their goals and desired approaches to parenting. Group leaders foster discussions that help participants develop, practice, and strengthen the skills that will allow them to achieve their goals as effective parents.

By the end of the series of sessions, parents should have the tools they need to help their preschoolers prepare for their school-aged years. It is time well-invested as the skills parents learn can greatly relieve stress in the home and enhance their confidence as an effective parent.  (CUIDAR.com)

It is very nice that the program is offered here in Orange County.  I didn’t find out about this until I moved here.  Back in Gardena, I don’t even know if such program/class exists.  Actually, I have to thank my friend, whom told me about it and when I saw the new session of the program was starting, I call to register.  I was a bit disappointed when told that I was on the waiting list as there are many parents who signed up.  Fortunately, two days later they called me and told me I am in.  And I can even bring my son to their class.

The program is 10 weeks.  And we are currently in the 2nd week.  My son doesn’t go into the same room as I do.  He goes to another class next door to learn new things.  Things that he will learn from his class - paying attention, learns to stop, look and listen.  As for me, hopefully by end of the 10 weeks, I will be a better parent than I am today. 

The 1st week was more like an introduction.  We introduced ourselves and told everyone what we expect to gain from this program after the 10 weeks.  I will probably write another post on other things that happened during that class.

For the past year I’ve been driving my car with constant fluid noise whenever I stopped the car or when I stepped on the gas to go.  For several oil changes that took place, the mechanic check and didn’t say anything until this past weekend.  My Hubby went to a new Jiffy Lube Oil Change here in Irvine.  And the mechanic told him that the car needed some radiator fluid as it was running really low. 

After the oil change service, my Hubby noticed that noise that I constantly complaint to him was gone.  He told me about it and now I also felt the different.  So whenever there is a fluid noise when you are stepping on the break pedal or the gas pedal, it might due to the low radiator fluid in your car.  So do ask your mechanic to check it out if you are unsure what is going on. 

Joann and Ethan have been here since June 6th.  I’ve tried to take them places around Irvine during the weekday.  We usually go out in the morning and return home after lunch and most of the time we stayed home after that.  I haven’t taken her to the South Lake for a walk yet.  I will have to do it soon before they leave on July 27th.  Time passes too quickly.  When they had just arrived, the seven weeks they goingi to be here looked longer.  Now, in about two weeks, they will be boarding the plane to Adelaide.  Not sure when they will come back again.  But JoAnn vowed, next trip, she will have to bring Eddie along.