Let me share what I picked up from the class today.
Special time with your child
One of our homework from last week was to spend approximately 10-20 minutes a day with our child/ren doing what they love to do. To do this, we have to use the ‘Think, Plan and Do’ approach. We set a side a time of the day to spend with him/her. Then we ask the child what they want to do. Sometimes a child may not have a set thing that he/she likes that moment, so we can help to give them a choice. We have to ask them questions, and let them make the decision and the rules.
Example:
Adult: “Hey, Amy, do you want to do something together?”
Child: “Ya.”
Adult: “What do you want the both of us to do during this time?”
Child: “I don’t know.”
Adult: “Well, do you want to play the dolls or bake cookies?”
Child: “Play dolls.”
Adult: “OK, what do we need?”
Child: “Teddy bear, Barbie, Ken, Mrs. duck …”
Adult: “Now, we have to set some rules when we are playing with dolls right?”
Child: “Ya.”
Adult: “What rules do you think we should adopt while playing?”
Child: “Taking turns?”
Adult: “Good idea! We can take turns with the doll house.”
The important part of this exercise is to pay attention to your child, building trust and intimacy. When we talk or having conversation with them, we also have to be descriptive about things we want them to do.
Paying attention on good behaviors
Kids love attention. According to the psychologist, kids will do anything to get your attention - throwing tanturm, behaving badly, and such. So main idea for this exercise is to promote how to get attention in socially appropriate ways.
First, pay attention how you and your spouse interact. Kids model the parents. So, if you want them to say please and thank you, practising those with your spouse will be a good start. Next thing is to pay attention to their good behaviors and praise and reward them. Again, be descriptive. Also watch your tone and be enthusiastic on it.
Adult: “Kelly, you are such a good girl to be sharing your blue train with Ethan.”
Adult: “Boy, you went to the bathroom yourself? Way to go buddy!”
Parents’ Meeting
Spend a few minutes each week to discuss with your spouse or the other caretakers of your child/ren on what you hope to achieve in the next week. Take it slowly. Things don’t happen overnight. You can talk about the values that you would like your child to have or the rewards to give. Give each other a pat on their back to tell them they are doing a good job. It helps.