Moments in My Life

I have no hair stylist certificate from international beauty school but I am a barber at home for my little 2 years old boy. I won’t say I am really professional but the cut I give him is decent enough that I can bring him out the same day after the hair cut. I do hope the more I do his hair cut, the better I will get.

But it will not be as good as those professional hair stylists definitely. Hey, after all they do get their Cosmetology certificates from a beauty school like International Beauty School at James College Mason City, Iowa. I wish I can attend the school but it is too far for me. Besides Cosmetology, they also offer Massage Therapy Training. For that, I can send my husband to learn. What I didn’t know is a certified and licensed Massage Therapist will have to complete at least 650 hours course then undertake the National Massage Therapy Examination. If you think you want to become a massage therapist or a cosmetologist, remember to check out the International Beauty School at James College. The application form is available online. They even will help you find housing if needed.

This Monday was our first Mommy and me swimming class at Victor E Benstead Plunge in Torrace. I had signed up last week online for a two weeks term of Mommy and Me class offered by the city of Torrance at the public swimming pool. The class will be held daily for two weeks, from 8/18 to 8/29. Each class is only 25 minutes long, from 11:15am to 11:40am. The pool is an Olympic size pool that has been divided into three sections and it holds three different classes at the same time.

Yesterday was our first class. Brandon didn’t like the water much initially. We sat by the pool to prepare to go in, but he wanted to leave already. And once inside the pool, he crabbed me so tightly and didn’t want to let go. The 4 young school age instructors are friendly but we didn’t receive any personal attention from them. It was fine with me as it may terrify Brandon if they come too near anyway. We were told that each day will be a new skill learned. Kicking in the water was our skill for that day.

Brandon began to enjoy the class when he knows how to kick. It was not that bad, but the moment we were into the class, the lifeguard gave us a horn to let us know is time to get off the pool. WOW … that’s a short 25 minutes I thought. Everyone was out of the pool and moving into the Women’s changing area. There are only 3 bathrooms. I didn’t bother to bath, just change and we left. I gave him a bath only when we got home.

We will be there again today at 11am. We’ll see what new skill we will learn this morning.

Backdated post

Brandon took his nap around 2pm this afternoon.  It was a little easier but still I needed to give him several warnings about closing the door.  That helped.  After he napped, I quickly vacuumed the floor and mopped it.  I saw ants coming out from the wall scavenging around for food/water.  But they are not at somewhere … one here and one there, no trails.  It was annoying.  That’s why I cleaned up the floor. 

It was around 2:35pm when I was done.   I washed my hands with soap and then pull the furniture back to where they supposed to be.  And then I was about to look for food to eat and the boy woke up.  I thought he might go back to sleep after I brought him to potty but no.  He cried and wanted me to be with him but I on the other hand was looking for food to eat as I was hungry by then.  I didn’t care, I let him cried and ate a breadstick with some potato wedges from our lunch.  I had a small salad earlier around 11:30am when we were out this morning.  I wasn’t able to eat much because of the little boss. 

I am tired … I didn’t have much of a break.  I had wanted to watch some tvb series while eating but that was not possible at all.  Now he is watching tv and I am typing this.

Remember in the middle of last week I wrote out the 9:30pm bedtime?  I was following a schedule for the whole week.  We have to sacrifice and have our dinner at 5pm.  By the time my son finishes his, it will be around 5:30pm.  Sometimes I started feeding his dinner before 5pm.  That means I started cooking around 4:20pm.  People in KL are just starting to have tea time and we here are having dinner.  But it all works out great!

1. Feed dinner at 5pm.
2. Some type of activity 6-7pm. (visit MIL’s house, walking around the block, park)
3. Bath time 7-730pm.
4. Mommy own time 7:30pm-8pm. 
5. Daddy play time with Brandon 7:30-8:15pm.
6. Mommy bath time 8pm.
7. Warming milk 8:15pm.
8. Milk time 8:30pm.
9. Mommy reading time 8:35-8:45pm.
10. Getting ready to sleep 8:45-9pm.

This schedule works for me now.  I will stick to this one.  So no going out later than 7pm for us anymore.  We have to be home by 7:15pm the latest. 

So now he sleeps early, it also means he wakes up early in the morning.  At 7am he will be up.  Before, he would sleep till raound 8-9pm.  I will have some morning time to myself.  Now I have the night time to myself for about 2 hours.  Same same. 

Almost forgot to note, by end of the week, I ended up sleeping (teman) with him in his room.  So no more running otut the room, screaming or crying session.  Being inside the room helps much more than the initial plan of staying outside the room.  He slept faster, no more crying and for me, it saved my energy meter.  Both happy.

Brandon, he prefers to hard way than soft talk.  Sometimes I have to scold him until he cries then he would at least listen or go to sleep.  I tried being nice and friendly talking to him and he thinks is all play.  He likes to step on my tail and test my patience every single day.  I don’t have much of that left by now. 

For example - Going to sleep/nap.

Mommy says,

You are tired, then you go sleep.  Why do you want to fight to sleep when you are already tired.  You know the ritual.  After your afternoon milk, you go to nap.  After your night milk, you go to sleep.  But even you are very tired, you won’t want to budge.  

It is very simple.  All you need to do is just close your eyes gently and you will go to sleep.  But not.  You want me to scold you because you kept running out from the room thinking I am playing with you when I am nice.  You want me to scold you because I told you nicely to sleep on the bed and stay there, you don’t listen.  You want me to close the door, even I gave you plenty of warnings and try my best not to close the door but you force me to.  You want to cry and scream when there is no reason to.  You hurt your own lungs if you scream like that.  I tell you but you don’t understand.  The chalazion on right eye will not heal, if you keep on crying everyday like that.  All because you want to fight not to nap/sleep.

Yesterday evening I tried my toddler night time schedule again. I gave him a bath around 7:30pm and I remembered to remind him that we were getting ready for bedtime which would be soon. I took my shower a little later at 8:15pm. Finished up around 8:30pm and he was done with his milk. I went to his bedroom and again, reminded him that it would be bedtime pretty soon. We read two books and played a little bit with his stuff animal and by 8:50pm, I was ready for him to sleep.

Constantly, I assured him that I would be just outside the door and would come in if needed. Kissed him good nite and cuddled and I walked out the door. Pulled up the pink Ikea Mammut stool and sat down reading my Reader Digest just right outside the door. The light on the hallway was on. I only started reading the first line, I saw someone standing besides me. By looking at him, I know he still wanted to play. But I reminded him again it was bedtime and he had to be on his bed. I carried him to bid good nite to Daddy and down the bed he went. I gave him another cuddle and more kisses. This repeated for about 5 times. Towards the 4th and 5th time, I didn’t give him any eye contact or cuddling.

The next thing I gave him was a warning that I would close the door if he ever leave the bed again. And he did it. And close the door I did. He cried a little … I was all the time outside the door requesting for him to go on his bed and I would open the door but he would just stand behind the door crying. It was about 9pm then. He asked for Oh Shee (potty) about 3 minutes into the crying. I opened up the door and brought him sitting on the potty. He didn’t go. I put the pants on and wiped his wet face. He walked himself to his bed and laid down. I gave him kisses and cuddle and assured him I would be just outside the bedroom if he needed me. I walked out. He didn’t leave the bed. I was sitting and reading … and I heard no noise. I went about to do my chores.

About 9:20pm I thought he should have gone to sleep by then, so I went inside his room quietly to pick up some laundry to fold. He heard me and turned over. Our eyes met. I told him I needed to fold his cloths, took the unfolded laundry and walked outside. In about 1 minutes, I heard his anklet bells ringing louder and louder. He came to my bedroom. I left what I was doing and went to him. Eye contact with him telling him that is bedtime. I took him to potty and he did go. He went back to his bed on his own. I gave him cuddles and kisses again and left the room. It was about 9:30pm. He slept.

Before, my son’s afternoon nap was from 3pm onwards (could be 3:30 or 4) till around 5 or 6pm.  Now I am trying to get him sleeping earlier at night, I have to move his nap time earlier too.  He has been napping around 1-2pm.  It is better if we have an active morning and that will tired him out.  But sometimes even how tired he is, he still want to fight to nap.

I am also trying to get him taking his nap independently.  It works out fine today after a lot of eye to eye serious conversation as well as a door closing session for 2 minutes.  Initially, he wanted me to sit next to him. I did it for a little bit but he was not much into sleeping so I walked out. Then again he pulled me back inside. Then again requested for me to sit next to him. I could but I didn’t want it to build up as a habit. So I told him NO! Firmly! Then I walked out. He came running out to the dining room (where I work) to play but I again told him is nap time with very close eye to eye contact. It happened 3 times. I repeated the same thing for 3 times. After the last time, we walked back to the bedroom together.

Not too long after that, he left his bed again. I gave him another warning - if he leaves the bed again, I would close the door. I had to close the door for that short 2 minutes. He was asking for potty immediately the door was closed. He knows what to get me to him. I went inside and took him to potty, he did go. Then I took him to the bed and ask him to pretend the ducky is me and the moo is Daddy. I asked him to hug the duck to sleep and pretend that it was me cuddling him. Before I left his bedside, I told him I will be busy making dinner so don’t get up from the bed again. I walked out.

Five minutes gone by, it was very quiet and I knew he fell asleep already. I peeked inside and saw him in the same sleeping position as the moment I left his bedside.

When my cousin sister told me that she was annoyed when her brother texted her telling her to wash her hands with soap before touching the baby, I could immediately relate (to her brother that is).  It turned out that his daughter was having diarrhea and my cousin sister was playing with her niece before that.  But it was definitely not my cousin sister’s fault because she knows to wash her hands with soap before touching any babies. 

Now, why can I relate?  I witness it myself.  My in-laws likes to work in the garden.  That’s good.  Sometimes we go over in the evening and upon entering the front yard, FIL/MIL will be working in the garden.  But once we go inside the house, he/she will join us too. 

However, I notice that both never wash their hands with soap.  FIL doesn’t wash the hand at all.  Even after he brings out the garbage from the kitchen to the trashcan.  MIL washes her hand with water only.  Both likes to caress/stroke Brandon’s hair, body and hands upon coming in from the garden.  I do not know what is the best way to approach them to tell them wash their hands with soap before touching little kid because it might transmit any germs/bacteria/parasites from the garden to my son.  Both also work without gloves.  Even with gloves, I would wash my hands and arms with water and soap immediately after I am done with garden work.

Today when they both came over to my house, they saw me putting cream on Brandon’s back and asked me what’s wrong.  I told them he got some tiny pimples on the back … but don’t know what it is.  Then MIL said yes, bugs like to bite on little kids because their meat is sweeter.  Then I told her, kind hinted her that he won’t get much bugs because he never spend time in the garden/outdoor.  And whenever he is outdoor, he wears shoes most of the time.  MIL then said, “Ya, even us, we changed new clothing, wash our hands and make sure we are clean before we come over to your house.“ 

That’s the part that gets me.  She might just say it but never really practise.  She may washes her hands but with no soap.  Is that clean?  I witnessed it myself during the week, how many times they worked in the garden but never wash their hands with soap.  Sometimes I kind hinted when I was over there when I see them returning inside from their garden.  I tell Brandon to stay away first because grandma/grandpa needs to wash their hands (with soap I was hoping) … but that didn’t get to them.  *sigh*

I am trying to switch Brandon’s bedtime to an earlier time.  Prior to tonight, his bedtime was usually after 10pm and can be as late as 11 or 11:30pm on certain nights.  Then I read an online website that toddler under 4 should sleep around 8pm. 

It will be a challenge for me to put him to bed at 8pm, so my goal for this month is to have him asleep by 9-9:30pm.  Of course ideally at 9pm.  We’ll see how it goes by end of this month.

The schedule (with some notes) I am trying to follow:

1. Feed him dinner around 5:30pm.  Should be done by 6pm.
2. Give him bath around 7-7:30pm. 
3. Daddy reading time 7:30-8pm. (Tell him is going to be bedtime soon)
4. I will try to have my shower around 7:45pm.
5. Mommy reading time 8-8:30pm. (Tell him bedtime is around the corner)
6. Warm milk around 8:15pm. (Remind him bedtime is coming up)
7. Let him drink milk around 8:30pm.  (After his milk, remind him again about bedtime)
8. Take him potty if he needs.
9. Read the night night book, turn off the light.  The auto night light will come on.
10. Let him know bedtime is here and that we love him, and is time to go sleep so tomorrow will have plenty of energy to play.
11. Kiss and goodnite hugs.  Daddy come in to say goodnite.
12. Assure him that I will be just outside his room and available if he needs me.
13. Give him another hug and kiss.  (Bring his teddy bear, moo and ducky to sleep next to him)
14. Leave his  room.
15. Sit just outside his room with the door open.

There are some notes I put next to it so I remember to do it.  Yesterday was the start of the schedule.  He slept at 10pm last night.  Tonite, he slept at 9:45pm. 

It wasn’t easy.  There were many crying sessions that I endured while sitting outside his room.  Yesterday and today, I had to take him back inside his room numerous times … countless times.  He kept running out from the bed to the door, standing there and asking me to go inside to sleep with him.  But I couldn’t give in. 

First few times, I tried to explain to him that is bedtime and he needs to be sleeping by himself now.  Next many times, I just brought him to bed and left him without saying anything.  He came up from the bed again.  And I repeated the same thing.  Then whenever I carried him to his bed, he held on to me very tightly and didn’t want to let me go.  He kept repeating that he’s sorry.  But I wasn’t suppose to say anything.  As instantly as it was, after I left him on his bed, he would come out again. 

If I were to follow the Super Nanny’s method, it will not work.  It suggests for parent to bring the kids in on the third time onwards without any eye contact or soft words.  But this didn’t work for us.  Brandon needs to hear those soft words that I am there, that I still loves him, everytime. 

So after dunno how many times of bring him inside to his bed, I gave him warning - that if he comes out again, I would close the door.  And close the door I had to after he did it for a third time.  And the crying sessions started.  He would be standing next to the door and crying and kept repeating he’s sorry.  I told him to go back to his bed and lay his head on the pillow and I would open the door.  He did that only after 5-10 mins of crying. 

I opened the door.  And immediately he sat up from his bed and came running out again.  I carried him inside and told him that I am not going anywhere, and that I am just sitting outside so I can read under the light.  He held me more tightly than before and wanted me to sit besides him.  After a few times of constantly taking him back inside the room, I suddenly remember … then I told him again that I love him and that I am just going to be outside the room.  One extra thing I did was … I brought his ducky, moo and teddy bear from above his pillow to be sleeping besides him on his pillow.  I gave him more hugs and kisses and assured him that I am not going anywhere but just outside to read. 

After that, he didn’t leave the bed and was cuddling the duck and 5 minutes later, I hear quietness.  He slept.  It was 9:45pm. 

This was my second night of endurance towards putting him to sleep at an earlier time by himself. 

I don’t believe this.  Vien had earlier warned me not to talk much about the progress of potty training but I wanted not to believe her.  And as I uploaded this previous post earlier today, I gave a second thought about it and was planning to put a *hope I won’t jinx this* at the end of the post but ended up taking it out. 

And guess what happened?  Brandon pooped in his underwear this afternoon.  He pooped then only he told us that he needed to go Oh See. Hubby was actually sitting in front of him but I guess it was too late for him to notice. We took him into the bedroom to change. I told him try not to move much but he was kicking his legs. And while pulling down his underwear, his right leg accidentally stepped on it. Oops. I had to clean the mess in his undewear then gave him a shower to clean his mess. Man … I shouldn’t be blogging about this topic anymore until I am really sure that he 100% done with it. BTW, we were out of underwear and I had to put him in a diaper. *roll eyes*